Random DJ Thoughts

Starting a new mix show series on Mixcloud.com. Check out the first episode…

As a DJ, I’m done taking song requests. Why? Because 9 times out of 10 times, I end up regretting it. Here’s a list of my biggest “Request” pet peeves.

1. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
   Ok. First thing’s first. 50% of the people that make requests are spoiled brats. They think that the world should cater to them, and that’s why they’re asking you to play their favorite song. I’m convinced that It’s not so much about the song as it is about this person’s need to get their way and keep the focus on them. You can’t win with these people. They’ll never be happy. You say no; They whine. You tell them that you’ll play it a little later; They need it played immediately. You actually play their song; They come back with another request. Learn to recognize these people and avoid them at all costs!
2. Why didn’t you just stay home and listen to the radio?
   I get it. You want to hear lil wayne or Drake or Britney Spears or the popular song of the week. Look! You’ve been listening to those songs all day. Do you really need to hear them all night? There are more than 10 songs in the world, and my purpose is to do something different. Yeah, I’ll rock a top-40 set, but really- open your mind a little. Your musical range is narrow. You’re living in a box.
3. Danceable?
   She says, “Can you play something danceable?” Translate… “Can you play something popular?” This may only be an affliction of Albanians (Albany, NY), but apparently some people can’t dance to songs that they don’t know. So, let’s just be real here. You don’t really love dancing or music. What you really like is going out to the club with your girls and shaking your ass to the popular song of the week. (See #2 above). People who really love to dance can and will dance to just about anything with a good rhythm regardless of whether or not they heard it earlier that day on the radio. I know. I’ve seen it.
4. Are you suggesting that I suck?!
   I’ve actually had people come up to me and ask me to play something “good” . WTF? Do you think I’d purposely play a song that I think is bad? To start, this is rude and a little hurtful- as it suggests that I’m not doing a good job. However, as a DJ I’ve learned not to take it personally. It says a lot more about the requester than it does about the DJ…This person is far worse than the spoiled brat in #1. Not only do they want you to cater to them, but they need you to figure out how to cater to them. So, now I have to forget that there’s a room full of people and that this song is gonna end in less than a minute, and give you suggestions for requests to me. I don’t think so! I’m not your father. Figure it out for yourself, and come back when you do. Better yet, don’t!
5. You want me to play Onyx now? really?
   True story. I was DJing a Michael Jackson tribute night. I was in the middle of a hot MJ set and everyone was really enjoying themselves. Anyway, this guy comes up to me and asks me to play Onyx. Onyx? How does that even fit into what I’m doing right now? I met the guy a few weeks later, and he actually turned out to be a cool guy, but there’s something that non-DJ’s don’t understand about DJ’ing… the flow.

   Part of a DJ’s job is to conduct the flow of the night and keep the audience in a certain zone or state of mind. Maintaining the zone is a challenge and sometimes you need to follow the energy of the crowd instead of conducting it. In any case, the music is your tool for maintaining that zone. You can’t just jump from MJ to Onyx. (Well sometimes you can, but that’s another blog.) You have to smoothly transition the mood from fun, light and up-beat to foul-mouth, thugged-out 90’s hip hop. Otherwise, everyone at the party is like WTF.

6. Go twirl your hair at someone else!
   Ok. You’re hot. Everybody in the place knows it, including you, but you’re not the first nor will you be the last hot girl to bat your eyes at me and try to manipulate me into playing your song. You being hot does not equal “song getting played”.

   The fine print… This really only applies to me because I have a girlfriend and I am faithful to her. Other single or unfaithful DJ’s should feel free to exploit this behavior to the fullest. LOL

7. Get your drink away from my turntables.
   Just get away from me. I’ve got expensive equipment here and you’re waving your drink around like you’re drinking on the friggin A Train. Really, just get away from me!
8. Get your own turntables.
   Alright, buddy. You’re making some good suggestions. I’ll even play a couple of them, but you’re really distracting and this is my set- not yours!

   It’s great when you connect with someone in the spot who has a similar taste in music. Maybe they’re a DJ themselves or maybe they just love music. However, there’s a line that can’t be crossed. They need to let you do your job and stay in your groove. I’ve been guilty myself of shouting out requests to my DJ buddies, but hopefully I know the limit, and I don’t say it a second time if it doesn’t get played.